Turtle Trouble
by Silmarilz1701
Summary: When a turtle shows up in Camelot, Merlin and Co. realize that one doesn't need magic to cause tremendous trouble! Mostly Merlin centered, but everyone will make an appearance at some time or another! Total Crack Drabble Collection.
1. Turtle

_A/N: _

_This all spawned because of a long car trip that I spent playing hangman on my phone. That combined with Merlin being on my mind led me to compose 100 word drabbles based on the hangman words I was getting. And so Fred the Turtle was born!_

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

><p>"What's it doing?"<br>"How should I know?"  
>"Arthur isn't going to be happy."<br>"Leave my husband to me. Just get this out of here."

And so Merlin and Guinevere stared as the turtle continued to chew on the King's prized socks. He picked up the turtle and left the room. As he did so, Arthur walked past and he hid the turtle under his jacket.

"MERLIN!"

Merlin sped round a corner to flee the King's wrath. He liked his body intact. He had a feeling that he would be spending a lot of time in the stocks for that Turtle.


	2. Garden

"Merlin! What happened to my herbs?!"  
>"Uh oh. Did Fred get into the garden?"<br>"Who's Fred?"  
>"He's a.. well he's a turtle."<br>"I've been growing those herbs for months, MERlin. Now YOU better go pick some new ones."  
>"Yes Gaius..."<br>"Oh and Merlin. FIND THAT TURTLE."

And so Gaius was left looking sadly at his disastrous herb garden. Half eaten stems and bitten off leaves were all that remained of his precious store.

Merlin cursed that goddess-forsaken turtle. He would find that thing if it was the death of him. He was tired of cleaning up it's trail of doom.


	3. Workers

"Look it's a turtle!"  
>"What's it doing?"<br>"Aww its so cute!"  
>"We should keep it!"<br>"Are you crazy? We're servants- workers! What do we feed it?"  
>"Well. I'm sure we could sneak some food from the kitchens."<br>"You're on your own there. You know what the cook is like on a GOOD day, let alone a BAD one."  
>"You guys are no help."<p>

The girls stood looking at the little green turtle as it made its slow walk down the rarely used back passageway. They didn't realize Merlin was trying desperately to find the little creature, looking everywhere.


	4. Competitor

Gwaine and Leon were sparring on the training field. Neither competitor could manage to get the upper hand. After a good five minutes, both were sweating in the noon day sun.

Suddenly Gwaine held up his hand for Leon to stop, "Is that... a turtle?"

Leon looked around, confused, "Why is there a turtle in the middle of the field?"

"Don't ask me. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't, like, seeing things."

"Not unless you're drunk. And I'm seeing things too."

Gwaine shrugged and they returned to practice. The turtle slowly passed the two competitors, oblivious to the attention.


	5. Remedy

Merlin was wracking his brain for a remedy to solve this turtle trouble. He'd tried baiting the little fiend but that had yielded nothing. Except a rabbit. Next he searched his spellbooks, hoping beyond hopes that there would be some way to track or locate an animal with magic.

As he predicted, the only way using magic to find the turtle that'd work was too risky for him to try in Camelot. The only thing he could do was continue searching for the bloody reptile until he found it. Alas, that really was the only remedy for this turtle catastrophe.


	6. Cold

Merlin could not find Fred. He was getting worried now because it was almost dark. What if the turtle got cold?

"What are you doing, Merlin?"  
>"You haven't seen a turtle nearby, have you Elyan?"<br>"Why would there be a turtle?"  
>"Don't ask."<br>"Well, I'd try someplace warm. It's getting to cold out here."

Merlin nodded and trudged back inside the citadel. Maybe it was in the kitchens. After all, Fred must be getting hungry, as well as cold. Merlin decided that he'd ask the servant girls in there for help too.

With more help, how long could this possibly take?


	7. Mop

Merlin lifted the pots and pans in the kitchen. Because it was late, he had to be very quiet. The cook was always grumpy when she was tired. But then again, she was always grumpy even when not tired.

"Merlin, why is that mop moving?"

He spun to find Percival in the doorway, a cookie in hand.

"What mop?"  
>"That one. Over in the corner."<p>

Merlin spotted it and motioned for Percival to come over.

"You go that way, surround the mop."

They crept up and Merlin jumped on the mop. He grinned when he found Fred eating a strawberry.


	8. Alarm

"We can't just get rid of him!" Merlin objected to Gaius.  
>"He's a turtle, Merlin."<br>"He can be a watch turtle!"

Merlin had grown quite fond of the reptile. After all the work he'd put into finding him, Merlin wasn't about to toss Fred out the door.

"A watch turtle?" Gaius asked skeptically.

"Yeah. He can be an alarm. Maybe."

Gaius sighed and crossed his arms.

"Just don't let him into my herb stores."

And so the Turtle Alarm System was implemented in Camelot. Needless to say, it was rather ineffective. But it was no worse than the city guards.


End file.
